7 Reasons NOT to Hire a Professional Carpet Cleaner

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We’re always advising readers on the benefits of professional carpet cleaning here on the blog. Of course we are! We believe in what we do, and we want your business! But, that having been said, it must be noted that professional carpet cleaning is NOT for everyone. Here is a list of reasons why you might not want to hire a carpet cleaning service.

 

  1. You don’t have carpets. If your home does not have any carpets, it would be kind of silly to hire a professional carpet cleaner.
  2. You might lose your dog. If your original carpet color matches your dog’s coat color, then having your carpets professionally cleaned might not be for you. That gray cast that your carpet takes on when it is dirty might be the only thing keeping you from a frightening dog camouflage situation like this:
  3. That pizza sauce stain is your friend. Maybe you don’t get out much. We’re not here to judge. If you have named the stains on your carpet, given them their own coffee mug, and taken to having long conversations with them in the evenings, then a carpet cleaner is probably not the professional you need to see.
  4. All your friends will want to sleep on your floor. This is one of the biggest risks of having your carpet cleaned. Once your friends see how luxuriously clean and soft your carpet is, they might start making excuses to come over for a visit—and end up napping on the carpet.
  5. You are an alien blob who floats through the air.If you never use your carpet, then it probably won’t get dirty, and therefore it doesn’t make sense to clean it. So if your alien biology precludes you from having feet or otherwise coming into contact with your floor, then you’re off the hook for carpet cleaning.
  6. You’re a wizard. If you’re Molly Weasley, then you definitely don’t need carpet cleaning services. You have a wand, possibly a house elf, and a dozen spells up your sleeve for all manner of home cleaning emergencies. In fact, maybe you should consider starting your own magic carpet cleaning service for Muggles.
  7. You have a symbiotic relationship with dust mites. 

    Perhaps you have some kind of reverse bubble-boy syndrome. Instead of experiencing allergic reactions at the tiniest exposure to environmental contaminants, you actually require mass exposure to these allergens in order to remain healthy. In that case, you should keep your carpet dirty. For your health.

 

If none of the above reasons apply to you, we’d be happy to clean your carpets! (If you live in the Asheville, NC area, that is.) Give us a call at 828.237.3237 or send us a message today!